Crimson Hoax: IUP to shorten winter breaks


This is a satirical news column.

After several complaints from parents and faculty, university administrators have decided to shorten winter break to two weeks in the upcoming year.

“We are getting so many complaints from parents and professors who think the month-long break is just too much,” said Noah Moore-Break, director of student breaks.

IUP students are outraged.

“I can understand shortening the break, but two weeks is ridiculous,” Ned Holiday said. “Students who live farther away really cherish this time with their families.”

The administration thinks the shorter break will make it easier for students to return because they won’t have as much time to fall out of a routine. Currently, students get about six weeks off for the holiday.

“We think this will give students more time to establish themselves in their classes and to keep a strong work ethic,” Moore-Break said. “IUP has always had one of the longest breaks out of all the colleges in the area, and we no longer see that as good fit.”

The fall semester will end on Dec. 22, 2017, and students will return for the spring semester Jan. 8, 2018.

“We think it’s extremely fair to begin classes at the start of the new year,” Moore-Break said.

A few students are content with the idea.

“Honestly, this is a relief to me,” Lessa Vacay said. “I’m so sick of my entire family asking me why our break is so long and now I won’t have to deal with that.”

Administrators are hopeful about the outcome of this new policy.

“We truly think the shorter breaks will be beneficial for our students, and, while we understand there may be some frustration, we hope everyone will consider the added benefits,” Moore-Break said.

While administrators remain optimistic, some students believe the new policy is a mistake.

“I think this is unfair to the students who work hard all semester and truly need a month to destress,” Holiday said.