Lead Culture Writer
This is a satirical news column.
IUP officials have decided to cancel Thanksgiving break in light of the recent faculty strike. Although it is an unfavorable option, the administration believes there is no other way to make up for the missed class time.
“Unfortunately, we just don’t see any other way to account for all the time we missed during the strike,” said Noah Fun, director of IUP student breaks.
Many students are outraged.
“It’s ridiculous that we are being deprived of the opportunity to be with our families and eat real food for once,” student Russel Sprout said.
The administration anticipated this type of backlash and has decided to offer a feast at Folger Dining Hall.
“We certainly wouldn’t want students to miss out on turkey, stuffing or pie,” Fun said. “That’s why we’ve decided to offer a Thanksgiving feast at Folger.”
Many students are planning to protest and go home for break anyway.
“There is just no way I’m missing out on Thanksgiving break, especially when the strike was out of my control,” Sprout said.
However, the administration strongly advises students not to disregard the importance of making up for the lost class time.
“Although it is an unfortunate series of events, students will not earn credit for their classes if they don’t take advantage of this makeup time,” Fun said.